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Wise & Kind 31-day Proverbs Reading Challenge

Wise & Kind 31-day Proverbs Reading Challenge

Cultivating a Servant’s Heart

It’s our fourth and final week of the Wise and Kind Proverbs Reading Challenge Blog Series. We hope you’ve loved reading how the women of Sandals church are living out our vision to grow spiritually wise, relationally kind, emotionally healthy, and cultivate community. This week, we’re looking at the final attribute—cultivating a servant’s heart.

If you’re inspired to serve, keep reading and you’ll have a chance to learn more about the teams at Sandals Church that need someone just like you! Also, if you’ve missed any of the previous posts in our series, take a few minutes to go back, visit, and be encouraged:

Cultivating Wisdom & Kindness

Cultivating Emotional Health

Cultivating Community

As always, we love hearing from you. We invite you to share your thoughts in the comments below.


To all my fellow people-pleasing friends, let’s say it together: My name is [insert your name here], and I’m a recovering people-pleaser.

I am in no way making fun of support groups. Seriously, I’m relating people pleasing as the problem that it is. Hear me ladies—It. Is. A. Problem. Especially when one is a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Serving and people-pleasing can get intertwined and become a messy dysfunctional thing.

Let’s talk about the difference in the two:

People pleasing has its roots in insecurities. It’s the attempt to “do for someone” acts of all diverse kinds to gain favor, acceptance, or even to earn love. Take it from me, a former people-pleasing queen, there is nothing more exhausting and further from the service Jesus intended for us to embrace and live out than people pleasing.

Serving is giving of oneself freely because of one motive and one motive alone…love. Jesus served because He loved. He loved us to death, literally. The only thing that should motivate us to serve tirelessly and continually is our love for the One who loved us first.

The Bible tells us that Jesus came not to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many. (Matthew 20:28) The key word is “give.”

Although many of us are a tad tainted with this culture that teaches us to “be served” rather than to serve, we have to take our eyes off of our confusing culture and look square into the eyes of the One who modeled servanthood perfectly—Jesus.

Never let loyalty and kindness leave you. Tie them around your neck as a reminder.
Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people,
and you will earn a good reputation. Proverbs 3:3-4 NLT

Our serving should never be an attempt to gain favor, be recognized, or work for God’s love and acceptance. Sister friend, you are LOVED and ACCEPTED by God before you lift a finger in Sunday school class or pick up your mic to belt out a worship song.

You DO NOT need to serve to gain God’s love or favor. You definitely do not need to serve to become more spiritual in the eyes of man or God. If you are serving in this way, you’re missing a beautiful opportunity, sweet friend.

Serving is simply a way we say “I love you back, God.”
It’s a beautiful way to express gratitude for all He has done.

Not all of us can forsake all and become Mother Theresa. She is my favorite example of a human servant. Although she sets the serving bar high, we can still serve in simple yet impactful ways. And yes, it counts to serve your family, but they are the easier ones to serve because we love them. At least, most days we do. 😉

Jesus served His disciples and He served strangers. He made Himself available to whatever the need was. Yes, we are all gifted in some capacity, but that should never limit us in the ways we are willing to serve.

You may be a gifted orator and sharing the gospel comes out as smooth as butter.

You may have the vocals of an angel.

But poopy butts need wiping in the nursery, and the trash needs taking out in the foyer. Those things are serving too.

A couple Sundays ago, I was attending a leader meeting at Sandals East Valley. When I walked in, I observed a man carefully vacuuming every piece of debris on the floor. Shorty after the meeting started, we were introduced to that man: Dan Zimbardi. Um, the renowned D.Z.?! Our Executive Pastor was vacuuming!

I heard so much about him and I met him for the first time as he modeled servanthood by vacuuming the floor. He was not too important to push a Dyson. High five, Pastor Dan!

I think people pleasing has messed up my serving game in the past big time. As I’ve aged, I understand far better the joy and privilege of serving out of a heart of genuine gratitude for all God is and all He has done for me.

He loves me. He showed me how much on Calvary 2000 plus years ago. I love Him and I show him by serving Him with gladness.

Simply serving Jesus is a joy, a privilege,
and truly brings a satisfaction like nothing else.

Go get em’, girl. Serve your little heart out all you can, just because you love Him back.

In His perfect and matchless love,

Diane


LET’S DIG DEEPER…

  1. What does being a servant look like to you? Is your definition based on the truth of God’s word or is it derived from what you’ve been told “serving” should be?
  2. Who do you know that models a servant’s heart? How do they inspire you to serve?
  3. Read Proverbs 3:3-4. Are you trying to earn favor with God and people through serving? Reflect on the truth that you are loved and accepted by God not because of what you do, but because you are His. Now, respond to God and tell Him what that truth means to you.
  4. Has people-pleasing impacted your willingness to serve God? What do you need to let go of (fear, insecurity, doubt) in order to simply serve God with a heart full of love and gratitude?

Is God stirring up a desire to serve in your heart? If you’re willing to respond and step out in faith, you can learn more about joining a team at Sandals Church here. There is a place for you!

As you continue your study of Proverbs, consider these other verses on cultivating a servant’s heart. Choose the one that most speaks to you, and be intentional about applying it to your life and allowing it to change who you are.

Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and become a slave. Proverbs 12:24

Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3

Whoever pursues righteousness and unfailing love will find life, righteousness, and honor. Proverbs 21:21

She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. Proverbs 31:17


Diane Huntsman is the Sandals Ministry Partner for Cultivate East Valley. She’s a wife of 31 years, mom to 4 adult children and Grammy to her 3 gifts. She is in love with Jesus and determined to use all her mistakes, messes and years of living to help women in all seasons to make this life count for eternity. Diane has served in different women’s ministries for 25 years and desires to leave a legacy of loving Jesus to the max. She enjoys all things outdoors, hates running and burpies but loves to make her body do all the things her mind says it shouldn’t do. You can find her on her porch some days, and wishing she was there on all the rest.

Wise & Kind 31-day Proverbs Reading Challenge

Cultivating Community

Welcome to the third week of our Wise and Kind 31-day Proverbs blog series. Over the past weeks, we’ve asked women at Sandals to share how this book of wisdom has instructed them in cultivating wisdom & kindness, as well as cultivating emotional health. This week we’re looking at the difference that cultivating community can make in our lives.

What are you learning through your daily reading in Proverbs? How are you cultivating the word of God into your heart and life, and how is it changing you? Share with us in the comments section below, or interact with our posts on Instagram and Facebook. We want to hear from you!


I’m a Cultivate and groups junkie! You may laugh, but it’s true. I’ve grown up going to church and attending bible studies, but I missed one crucial aspect—community!

I’m not talking friendship. I’ve had lots of friends—and great ones. I’m talking about doing life hand-in-hand with one another and life hand-in-hand with Christ. This idea of community was a concept completely new to me and so were the women around me when I first attended Cultivate Book Club.

I learned quickly that with intentional vulnerability comes deep connection.
Transparency is both a scary thing and a freeing thing.

My mask was down and so were theirs.

I felt safe.

I felt loved.

I was treated with kindness.

After my first day at book club, I left feeling filled, alive, renewed, and free. I felt like I had discovered a gift and experienced friendship in a new way.

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.
Proverbs 27:9 NLT

Each time I’m with the girls in my group, each text we share back and forth, brings joy to my heart and a smile to my face.

They lean into my mess and help me see clearly. They speak truth into the lies I’ve believed for far too long. They encourage me to press on.

They see blessings that I miss. They pray for my family. They’ve comforted me in my grief. They make me laugh.

They’ve been in situations that I haven’t, but might walk through someday. They offer wisdom. They give me grace. They hold me accountable.

I treasure their hearts, their friendship, and their counsel. With each new season of Cultivate, I come to realize that the depth of friendship and community goes beyond just what we can see.

Community gives us opportunity to be Christ’s image-bearers
and share His great love with others in our lives.

We are able to be His hands and feet for one another. We are able to be reflections of His love, His grace, and His kindness. We can help bring healing, encouragement, and hope to those around us by imitating our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

As wives, moms, sisters, students, daughters, employees, we are busy. None of us need to add one more thing to our already filled schedule, but I ask you to consider joining us in our journey of being real and cultivating community.

Cultivate has changed my life and brought me into a deeper relationship with Jesus. Cultivate has created relationships that I will be forever grateful for…a new community of friends and family!

In His Love~
Megan


LET’S DIG DEEPER…

  1. Think of a time when you have experienced sweet counsel (e.g. truth, advice, encouragement) from a friend. What did that look like and how did that make a difference in your life?
  2. Friendships are important to all of us, but especially to Jesus. He could have done His work alone, but He surrounded himself with disciples. Read John 13:34-35 and 15:12-17. What command does Jesus give over and over? How does Jesus’ view of friendship and love impact the way you see community?
  3. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one friend sharpens another.” A lot of people can influence our lives, but who are the people in your life that truly refine and strengthen you as a follower of Jesus? How can you be intentional about cultivating community with these people?

The next season of Cultivate begins in the fall, but you don’t have to wait to find community at Sandals Church. We have a group for you! Find a community group that fits your schedule and needs, or even start your own today. You can learn more here. 

As you continue your study of Proverbs, consider these other verses on cultivating community. Choose the one that most speaks to you, and be intentional about applying it to your life and allowing it to change who you are.

Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more. Proverbs 9:9 NLT

Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble. Proverbs 13:20 NLT

Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisors bring success. Proverbs 15:22 NLT

A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. Proverbs 17:17 NLT


 

Megan Suarez is a Sandals Ministry Partner and Small Groups Coordinator for Cultivate. She has a passion for connecting and encouraging women. She is the proud wifey of Jesse, and mommy to 3 crazy, baseball-loving boys ages 7, 9, and 11. Megan loves camping with her family, watching her boys play baseball, going to Angels games, and anything and everything to do with the beach!


Have you heard about Cultivate Unity? We’re talking the women (and girls ages 10+) of Sandals Church gathering together at the campus you attend every weekend. One church, one event, multiple locations. What do you need to do? Come and bring a friend, or come and meet some new friends. It’s just that simple. What a beautiful way to cultivate community right in your own backyard. We promise you won’t want to miss this night. Join us on August 25th. We can’t wait to see you!

Wise & Kind 31-day Proverbs Reading Challenge

Cultivating Emotional Health

Last week, we applied the truth and insight found in Proverbs to cultivating wisdom and kindness. As we continue our Wise and Kind 31-day Proverbs Reading Challenge, we take a look at how the fullness of God’s word can help us grow emotionally healthy. We hope that you are not only making time to read the Word, but apply the truth to your life with intention.

Remember, you can share what you’re learning with us by commenting on the blog or interacting with our posts on Instagram and Facebook. We love growing spiritually wise together, and we love hearing from YOU!


“Where do you see us in five years? What is one thing we said we were going to do that we probably won’t?” My husband and I had planned our lives out pretty much entirely. We are that couple…or at least we were. I was nine months pregnant when he asked me those questions.

I cringed at my answer. I didn’t even want to say it out loud. “I know we always said we would adopt later, but I just don’t see it.”

We had bought into a lifestyle that was depicted by where we lived.

Two kids, two cars, two incomes, too much! We were both thriving in our careers, had just bought our first house, and were expecting our first child. I knew adoption was expensive, time-consuming, and emotional. It didn’t seem to fit this lifestyle we had purchased.

“I feel the same way,” was my husband’s response.

We realized that our lifestyle was not in line with what God had called us to do. We felt that calling to adopt very strongly, and we were letting the life we had made get in the way. We made a promise right then and there that our next child would join our family through adoption.

It wasn’t our plan, but it was our calling.

Things moved fairly fast after that. Our daughter was born, and it was the greatest joy we had experienced. We kept trying to push the adoption back. We told ourselves we would start the process when she was a year old because of finances, closeness in age, and overall fear of the unknowns. But God kept pushing and knocking. So we let Him in on His timing. We let Him provide. When our daughter was four months old we began the process of adopting from South Korea.

And it was a process!

Paperwork, a home study, fingerprints, doctor appointments, financial statements, notarized everything, employment verification. Basically everything in your life is put into words to show that you are a capable, loving family. Then everything stops. You wait. You pray. And the waiting for me, was unbearable.

To me, being emotionally healthy means being real with myself,
knowing what diverts my focus, and facing emotions head on without hiding them.

But during the adoption process I forgot it all. I couldn’t stand not knowing what was going to happen, not being in control, and not being able to plan it. Our adoption took over two years to complete.

I watched friends have biological children in that time. I saw other adoptions move at lightning speed, and I questioned why our son’s process took so much longer. I saw my faith tested month after month with no word. I wiped tears from my eyes day after day for weeks at a time. I saw my marriage have ups and downs because these were new waters for us. I felt insane jealousy like none other that made me feel weak.

I felt absent and distant from God because I didn’t hear Him anymore. All I heard was the empty silence that no news brings when you are adopting.

“Laughter can conceal a heavy heart,
but when the laughter ends, the grief remains.”
Proverbs 14:13 NLT

I was not okay, but to everyone on the outside I was. I didn’t let anyone in to see my pain or the ugliness I felt from jealousy to regret. But I realized rather suddenly (and after a complete melt down one day) that God’s silence was really His patience with me.

God was waiting for me to listen so that I would hear Him.

He was teaching me and leading me back to Him.

He has the best intentions for my son.

He has the best intentions for our family.

God has the best intentions for me. 

I told my husband, my mom, and close family members how I felt. We prayed together, focused on optimism and hope, and I joined an adoption support group. Once we let God in, He radically changed our lifestyle. We moved closer to family. I am now a stay-at-home-mom. We don’t feel the pressures of the lifestyle we had before to act, look, or be a certain way.

We seek to imitate God rather than others.

Thinking back to the adoption process still brings every emotion and hurt to the surface. But being emotionally healthy for me is recognizing the hurt and facing it rather than masking it.

God has given me opportunities to share my story with other adoptive parents to help fully equip them for the journey. I may not be emotionally ready to say, “I would do it all over again,” but if I can see my weaknesses from the past, I know God will help me use them to move forward in the future. He will help you move forward too.

In Him,

Meghan


LET’S DIG DEEPER…

  1. What does being emotionally healthy mean to you?
  2. Read Proverbs 14:13. The first step is being real. Are you masking your real emotions (grief, fear, worry)? What can you cultivate instead (peace, truth, community) to pursue emotional health?
  3. Does the pressure to act, look or be a certain way keep you from being real? Who in your life allows you to be honest about your emotions? If you don’t have this kind of community, know that we at Sandals Church care about you. Learn more about joining a community group or speaking to our Soul Care team.

As you continue your study of Proverbs, consider these other verses on cultivating emotional health. Choose the one that most speaks to you, and be intentional about applying it to your life and allowing it to change who you are.

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Proverbs 4:23

Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up. Proverbs 12:25

A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones. Proverbs 14:30

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength. Proverbs 17:22


Meghan Benson is a Sandals Ministry Partner, serving alongside the women of Cultivate by supporting social media design and outreach. She is married to Nick and they are working together to raise their three kiddos, Natalie (4.5 years), Jameson (4 years), and Hadley (5 months). A mom first, Meghan spends “nap time” creating handmade jewelry and expanding her knowledge on all things tech related. She enjoys white mochas and local coffee shops, but with three little ones at home she is grateful for a re-heated cup of homemade coffee and this irreplaceable time in their lives.

Cultivating Wisdom & Kindness
Wise & Kind 31-day Proverbs Reading Challenge

Cultivating Wisdom & Kindness

Welcome! This month on the blog we’re taking a deeper look at Proverbs and the heart of Cultivate. Proverbs is packed full of motivation and inspiration to help us grow relationally kind, spiritually wise, and emotionally healthy, as well as encouragement to get connected in community and serve on a team.

If you haven’t already, it’s not too late to join our Wise & Kind 31-day Proverbs Reading Challenge. Just read the chapter in Proverbs that corresponds to the date on the calendar and use our REAL study method to respond to what you’ve read. Share what you’re learning with friends, your community group and join us here on Fridays or throughout the week on Instagram and Facebook.

Grab your Reading Challenge resources here.

Every Friday, we’ve invited real women to share how Proverbs is helping them cultivate the wisdom of God’s word into their heart and lives. Since we’re in this together, we’ve also included questions so that you or your community group can reflect, discuss and share what you’re learning. We can’t wait to hear what God is showing you!


— Cultivating Wisdom & Kindness —

We aren’t handy. In our 18 years of marriage, my husband and I have agreed that if someone in this universe has the gifts and talents to do what we need—repair the plumbing, paint the eaves, change the oil in the car—we will gladly write the check.

Why? We can’t. These things terrify us. It takes me 3-hours to hang a picture frame and only that long because I resort to pencil lines on the measuring tape just to avoid the fractions. I know, sad.

But when my husband decided he could save us several hundred dollars on a car repair by watching a YouTube video and attempting the job himself, I [for some absurd reason] agreed. The first clue we were in trouble was when he asked, “What’s that tool called?”

When things go sideways, my default is not wisdom and kindness. It’s justice.

I want to bullet point my reasoning, defend my position, and right all the perceived wrongs. Generally, this involves a bit of blame shifting and at least one “I told you so.” I confess, this isn’t at all attractive, but we rarely look in a mirror while we’re losing our minds, do we?

So, when the well-intentioned man I married walked in from the garage, his face pale and panicked, declaring, “I broke everything. Everything is broken and it’ll probably cost us a million dollars to fix it. Get your checkbook,” my reaction was not, Lord, what wise and kind words can I speak over this dear man?

My first thought was: I was right, you were wrong and let me tell you all the reasons why.

The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking;
the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words. Proverbs 15:28 NLT

Jesus is my Lord and Savior. I believe in the truth and fullness of His word, and I know my Father’s voice that speaks into my life through the Holy Spirit. One of my greatest prayers is that my heart would be pointed toward God and that daily He would weed out the sin and transform me. I’d like to believe there’s a bit of wisdom in me.

Not only have I experienced the power of kindness, but I’ve seen the effects of unkindness in places it should not exist and among God’s people who should know better. I want to be known as a woman who is kind.

But in the 3.5 seconds between my husband’s words and the search for my own, there was a war of spirit and flesh. Seriously. I’m almost positive I heard the Holy Spirit say, “Shut it.” If Jesus were at my side, He likely would have put His hand over my mouth and said, “Don’t even go there.” And really, sometimes I wish He would.

I wanted to speak my mind, but in those moments, something greater captured my heart: obedience.

If we know Jesus, wisdom and kindness are always within our reach, but without obedience they’ll just be empty virtues.

I’ve ignored the strongest prompting to hold my tongue because I wanted to be right.

I’ve read God’s word, then set it aside because I thought I knew better.

I can hear what God is saying, but the truth does nothing to change me if I do not obey.

My justice loving mind didn’t want to surrender control and submit to Christ’s authority, or to the respect my husband deserved from me. It took purpose and intention—a conscious choice to obey—to close my mouth and let a godly heart win over evil words.

I’m so glad I did, and I want to do it again…and again.

Anyone can be smart and nice, but we have a more excellent path to choose. Yes, we have a God of grace, who forgives every misstep and misspoken word that we confess, but we are also accountable to a good and just Father who desires obedience from His children.

I don’t want to settle for less. I want to be a woman who is wise and kind ON PURPOSE. I want to obey the Father who loves me and become who He has created me to be. Don’t you?

With grace,

Tiffany


LET’S DIG DEEPER…

  1. What does being a woman who is wise and kind mean to you? How can you cultivate these attributes into your heart and life?
  2. If you don’t choose wisdom or kindness first, what is it that you’re choosing (anger, fear, bitterness)? How does that choice impact you and what can you cultivate instead (kindness, patience, hospitality)?
  3. Read Proverbs 15:28. Have you ever allowed evil words to win over a godly heart? How could carefully thinking before you speak change things?

As you continue your study of Proverbs, consider these other verses on cultivating wisdom and kindness. Choose the one that most speaks to you, and be intentional about applying it to your life and allowing it to change who you are.

“Fear of the Lord teaches wisdom; humility precedes honor.” Proverbs 15:33

“Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” Proverbs 16:24

“When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.” Proverbs 31:26


Tiffany Parry is a Sandals Ministry Partner and is thrilled to serve Cultivate by supporting the blog and social media outreach. She’s married to Jason, who isn’t a mechanic but is a fantastic teacher, and is mom to her one and only son, Dylan (14). Tiffany is a lover of words and enjoys writing and sharing stories about faith in the middle of the messiness of life. If she can be surrounded by family, friends, dark chocolate, and sweet tea, she’s just about as happy as a girl can be.